2020 in a nutshell 💫

1.04.2021

Twenty-twenty was definitely an interesting year for all of us. There was the lingering potential of World War III, which never really happened; the world was thrown in a global pandemic and we were all forced to quarantine inside, learning to live a brand new lifestyle of mask-wearing, hand-washing, and social distancing. Black people were shot and protests were ignited, influencing another historic moment in the Black Lives Movement, and then the elections happened. 



It certainly was a crazy year, full of surprises, revelations, grief, and a lot of learning. I certainly learned a lot this year. I realized I was in a relationship I didn't deserve, with someone who didn't treat me right. I had the courage to leave my job and look for other work I wanted to do. And I finally got into a school in New York City. When 2020 had started, I had the mindset of "New Year, New Me" and I thought I was going to flourish in my relationship and career. But, this was the year I lost, I failed, and I grew up. 


I was pushed back with struggles - I was faced with fear, uncertainty, and a mental instability. I have no idea what to expect, or what to do now. With my school in New York, I had hopes of moving there to start a new life and finally find the breakthrough in my career. But not everything comes into fruition and not all plans work out. The spread of COVID had become dangerous that a second wave had swept across the city. It was a life or death risk that I wasn't willing to take at the time. The only thing I can do is be patient. 


Trudging through 2020 was hard. I was faced with an uncertainty when my mother was tested positive for the virus. I had the ubiquitous concern that maybe I had it, that I was asymptomatic. That perhaps I was being irresponsible. Although it turned out she contracted it from her work, it still gave me anxiety and self-doubt. On top of that, I left my job and lost friends, lost a relationship I thought was going to work out, and lost money paying my school. I was at a dead-end. 


The silver lining that I found when I was plunged into the bottom of the deep-end was that I reconnected with an old friend. Sangeeta had helped through a few boy-problems in the past, as well was supported me when I was facing personal issues, and I the same for her. We were best friends during my time at community college, hanging out in various spots in our town and she even took me to my first concert where I watched Travis Scott strapping himself to a rollercoaster and riding in a loop.


2020 was like a tsunami that unexpectedly swept us away. Hopefully not too far as we begin to walk back to normalcy with the new vaccine that's slowly distributing across the globe. Other than reconnecting a valuable friendship, I also got good grades in my classes in the Fall, and I'm working on re-launching my zine The Wallflower (finally!). My team is gradually coming together, and I have bright hopes for the future of my publication. Go check it out if you haven't already! 


I have a feeling that 2021 will be better – not just for me but for everyone else. We just have to keep manifesting good vibes and positive energy. I hope all of you had a fantastic [and responsible] new year's celebration. As we enter a new year and a new month, let's carry on forward, set ourselves new goals and new mindsets, and let's make the best of 2021!

nicole isabel